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We're hiring for the following positions!

Editing Editor (EE)
Pre-requisites: Uhhh... nothing actually. Oh wait! Ability to be suckered into the orange building
Jobscope: Uhhh... try to edit?

Absolutely Pitiable Editor (APE)
Pre-requisites: Ability to stay quiet about a severe degree of designation-related confusion
Jobscope: Pray for the day when the 'absolutely' will be knocked off your title, and you won't be referred to as an ape anymore

Pitiable Editor (PE)
Pre-requisites: Ability to keep the absolutely pitiable editors alive
Jobscope: Uhhh.. edit?

Almost Screwed Editor (ASE)
Pre-requisites: Blindness, particularly to potholes in your career
Jobscope: Errr... edit... (we think)

Screwed Editor (SE)
Pre-requisites: Stupidity beyond hope, and ability to give false hope to those under you
Jobscope: Uhhh... Edit... we suppose?

Assistant Moronic Editor (AME)
Pre-requisites: Complete blurness about your existence and the reason for it
Jobscope: Learning the ropes of extremely moronic acts

Moronic Editor (ME)
Pre-requisites: Thick skin, ability to stay in the orange building for long periods of time, especially overnight, over many years
Jobscope: Errr... We'll get back to you on that in a few months.