The ten Orange rules

Since a new batch of recruits has just entered Orangeville (the virtual one, not the real one - the real one always has a new batch of recruits!), it is highly essential that they be told of the ten Orange rules:

1. No names are to be used on the blog. Please use initials only. This is to render the blog 'ungooglable' to lurkers.

2. Do not give out the URL to random people just because you have a crush on them. Only ex/current/future employees have the privilege.

3. Hey you! Over there! You don't belong here! Giddout! :/

4. Contributors are expected to write posts, not just read others' and giggle. Elf, please note.

5. Be sensitive/sensible before you hit 'Publish'. Your post may offend people. However, as long as it does not offend the two administrators, you're on safe ground.

6. If you do, however, manage to piss off one or both of the administrators, there will be a two-step punishment: (a) First offence - your post will be promptly deleted off the blog. (b) Second offence - you will be promptly deleted off the contributors' list. Do not be alarmed though - these measures are merely a way for the administrators to show off how very powerful they are.

7. In honour of Weird Rule #134 of the Orange building, the posting time of any post, irrespective of when you post, should be 6.03 pm.

8. Even though you have 48 rear view mirrors stuck to your computer, you shall not open the blog in the Orange building in the form of a maximised window. Be discreet. Elf, please note.

9. Delete browsing history, at least every Friday, and before going on long leave. Those who are unfamiliar with technical jargon such as "browsing" or "history" may kindly proceed to the cubicle of Final Proof to get thwacked by a rolled-up Sunday Times.

10. You shall cease to be an administrator if you choose to leave the physical premises of the Orange building. You are however, free to pass on the administrator duties to another person, as long as the other administrator approves of said person. If you join back (as is wont to happen whether you like it or not - you did not read the fine print in your employment contract, didya?), said person will be instantly and heartlessly kicked out and your administrator privileges will be promptly reinstated.