Witness the terrifying toilet woman!

In the carpeted savanna of the MCIS wildlands, one predator above all others rules supreme. Other, lesser predators make their presence felt only intermittently, and sometimes days may pass without so much as a sighting of such lesser beasts.

This is not the nature of the terrifying toilet woman.

Behold! The toilet woman will stalk her prey for days on end, luring her prey into a false sense of security. The hapless prey, complacent and constipated, enters the communal dumping grounds of MCIS. And still, the toilet woman bides her time, stalking her prey while perched atop her metallic roost, knawing at the carcass of her previous kill. The prey, still oblivious to the danger, drops his guard (and his pants), bends over, and just as the promise of blissful relief beckons...

BIANG BIANG BIANG!!! OEI!!! WO YAO FANG SHUI AH!!!*

*Translated: BIANG BIANG BIANG!!! OEI!!! I AM GOING TO WET THE FLOOR!!!

The prey, startled, rears his head in alarm and rises onto his hind legs to assess the danger. At this moment, the aforementioned 'promise of blissful relief' is two seconds shy of materializing. These crucial two seconds will decide the fate of our hapless prey. If he is to live, then he must abandon years of socially conditioned instincts, ignore the hunting cries of the crazed toilet woman and resume squatting upon his throne. If not, the 'promise of blissful relief' will materialize and fall directly into...

PLOP.

In the immortal words of the eminent scholar, DJ Hairspray, ' Oh shit.'

And outside, the toilet woman's tirade carries on...

KUAI DIAN!!! WO YAO JIN LAI LIAO!!!*

*Translated: FASTER!!! I AM COMING!!!

And so turns the wheel of life. Indeed, life in the savanna wildlands of MCIS be fraught with many dangers and much unintended innuendo arising from poor translation.