The Orange has the unique, if somewhat questionable, quality of bringing people together. Whether it's because of the numerous late nights, screen checks, team meetings or clandestine get-togethers in a cubicle with arms around each other and moist lips poised to...ok that would be half a step too far, so let's just say...they aren't the first, and they certainly wouldn't be the last. Presenting the latest in the Orange assembly line of fine couplings:
The intrepid photographer (and sometime cherry eater and/or lover) Markarazzi and his latest acquisition muse - Jacq, woman who owns seven cats. Or was it nine?
Some photos from Day 2 of the course. The trainer was up to his usual antics, monkeying around and switching personas like a chameleon changes colour. Very entertaining stuff indeed.
*Captain Haddock shall try his darndest to avoid sexually-related jokes and/or innuendo in this post and possibly in future posts as well, because he feels that of late there have been too many sexually-related posts, which must have peeved the two goddesses of the Orange blog at some point and in some capacity. The failure to do so is however not to be held against him.
I can't remember exactly what the trainer was doing here but he was in a half-squat and doing an impression of somebody...perhaps a celebrity. You can tell from the side of MV's face that she is smiling at the trainer's crazy moves.
There he goes again...
My future residence, after I win the lottery or get promoted to Managing Editor (yeah right)
The simply indefatigable R Bong. To quote one of AN's seemingly endless put-downs: "That wasn't a compliment."
My lunch.
Oh ho! EK takes centre-stage, lecturing one and all about some management technique, the details of which I have completely forgotten at this juncture. What was the name of the course again?
The trainer stoops to conquer
The trainer said that EK and GK look like brothers! Other than our similar builds (ok ok I'm fatter than he is, I know I know), I don't see how we look alike! EK is obviously the alpha male here =p
BB - The man who never stops smiling
As Captain Haddock (the actual character in the comics) would say, "Look at him, acting the goat again!"
PL is caught digging for hidden treasure. Eeew.
Well that was that. 2 days worth of entertaining stories, innuendo and monkey acts. Did I forget to mention that one of our colleagues from M'sia (the ones actually working IN M'sia) eyeballed IL as he made his way into the room, more than one hour late after lunch? The trainer noticed and made a hell of a joke about it, basically asking them to get a room or something.
Btw, just to clarify, it was a female colleague. Did anyone think otherwise? =D
A bunch of us more wrinkly oranges (wrinkly because "older", "older" because supposed to be more senior mah) were carefully handpicked and sent to a Leadership training course, which was as usual conducted where all the training is usually conducted (that isn't saying much but you guys know anyway).
What a bother, I thought to myself halfway through the morning session. I would rather have stayed in the office doing what all good and responsible Editors do (surf internet lah!), especially with the absence of The Great Tied One and a few other prominent figureheads, which would certainly provide the perfect platform for surfing recklessly and with wild abandon (i.e. not having to scan my small mirror every few seconds or look over my shoulder to see who's behind).
As it turned out, the trainer was not half as bad as I thought he would turn out to be, and certainly improved as the day wore on, becoming a lot better than in the beginning when he assaulted my senses with a supremely fake accent (à la a certain Mr Bong we all know and love) and a horrendously mismatched outfit (purple striped shirt) and a red Mickey Mouse tie, not to mention his propensity for acting like a sweet little girl one minute, jumping and prancing around, and then towering over you like the Incredible Hulk the next, all deep voice and hulking.
Eventually, as the session went on, he evolved a style which reminded us of Austin Powers, especially when he kept going "Yeah, baby!". It helped (or didn't, whichever rocks your boat) that he looked like he could actually pass for an asian Austin Powers, what with that trademark toothy, silly grin, and his bay hiao bai-ness.
Anyway, the highlights of the day are as follows. The trainer, a certain Mr Ng, actually did or said the following:
kneeled down in front of IL and asked IL to abuse him. "Abuse me, IL, abuse me!!". Good god. The innuendo. If only the Sixpackwere here...this was a classic moment.
mentioned that he would not go out with BB because BB is a really towering, handsome guy, and he would look really bad next to BB. But the trainer really got into his element when he subsequently pointed to BB and said "Seeeee....soooo cute, got a little dimple there, so handsome!", all in a rather high-pitched girly voice. Naturally, he qualified by saying he was "not gay". I don't think any of us are convinced.
claimed that he once yanked down the skirt of a lady in front of 300 people, and that she was wearing a hot thong. Then asked WM how she would feel if he yanked down her skirt. Was that a proposition? Think a certain motorcyle riding, umbrella wielding Ah Beng from Ipoh is gonna have to pay this particular trainer a visit soon...
Mr Ng, holding a stress ball, talking about squeezing balls. He actually accused YD, albeit jokingly, of stealing other people's balls and squeezing them.
He cuts a dashing figure don't he? 48, single, probably rich, probably not gay, probably drives a expensive continental car, immaculate yet quirky sense of fashion, Austin Powers style of talking and behaving - his dating resume practically writes itself.
Lunchtime!
Mouths full and eyes a-wandering...
RB texts away...must be missing his wife
Picture perfect trio.
And another...
Mr Ng reads out a love letter from one of his fans who attended his training sessions a massive total of 5 times.
Tea-break and BB can't get over the fact that he was just hit on by Mr Ng
RB and MS want to get hit on too, but too bad, no cute dimples on either of their faces (although I might be wrong)
Roars of laughter were the order of the day as Mr Ng delivered joke after joke.
All eyes focused on the front, but actually checking their watches every now and then, waiting for 5pm to come around...
More to come for Day 2...in the meantime don't any of you at work skive just because IL isn't around, eh! Especially, you, ML, stop watching Youtube lah you...and RC! Still surfing for household furniture and appliances arh? BH! Chatting like siao on your Mac right? Heheh...
Determined not to let this V-day be 'just another day at the office', the foolish young ed sets off to rid the office of tedium and drudgery. And besides, word had somehow gotten around that something was going to happen, and who was I to disappoint the ladies?
Did I say 'ladies'? Make that 'ladies and one suspiciously happy guy': Rewind to a less traumatic time. Here's what happened behind the scenes. Guys, if you've never had makeup applied to you before, I highly recommend getting someone getting an attractive and experienced stylist. Such as JC. It's quite likely one of the few times she'll voluntarily place her hands on your face.
The satisfied smile on her face says it all =D. And now, I present to you the best and the worst of MCIS V-day. It's a tough call, but someone has to make it. And it doesn't help that the photographer was apparently very excited, leading to many unfocused shots. And I'm pretty sure he missed some hugs. Either that, or those shots went into his private archive *insert eerie music*...
The Bottom 3 (not including the 'suspiciously happy guy') Don't let the big grin fool you. One hug later, I was in the toilet, and the woman touched my shaved head with her gloved hand. I can only have nightmares of where her glove has been. Ugh.
In all honesty, this wasn't all that bad. Pity her other half wasn't in the office. So she has to stand in for Crush-men-with-her-thighs. Now this was uncomfortable. And not just because I couldn't quite get my arms around her. Seriously, someone should tell her to change her brand of aftershave. In all fairness, she probably wasn't very comfortable either. After all, this was the person who went, 'What are you going to do to me?!' when I opened my arms to hug her.
The Top 3
This is one hug I won't forget for a long time to come. Not so much because she gave me a really nice, warm hug, but because she asked, 'Do I get a kiss as well?' and my brain exploded. My one chance to do an Adrian Brody on Halle Berry and my brain decides to shut down. Ah well. Let's move on... How can I leave out my favorite (and only) stylist? Got a nice big hug from her too. And of course, the sole surviving member of the GFPT. See what you're missing, ex-GFPTs?
And at the end of the day, I can sit back in my cube, look around, and see the smiling faces of all the people I've hugged. It makes it all worth it =D
What is wrong with the Sixpack these days? Are there not enough attractive Orange women for us to feast our eyes on, that we have to resort to cavorting pinkishly with each other? And what is the matter with all those gay jokes we are making these days man? Stuff about dropping the soap in the shower, bending over, and showering together, etc. Maybe we are getting too close for comfort....such that the gay closets lying dormant within each of us (NOT ME) are being violently shaken. We must be careful....once the doors of the closet are shaken loose, and we get out of that closet...I don't think there's a way back!
Events today really took the cake...look at what happened:
Matching brown shoes! What the hell?! We might as well be wearing matching pink lacy underwear and garters, man...
:::Worse is to follow:::
Check out what happened between BB and the intern (???) SY. I've heard that they go jogging together and apparently the buff twosome make quite a......couple. They got drunk today and couldn't keep their hands off each other. The following pics only tell the beginning part of the story...
A little alcohol, a little rub rub rub, a touch here, a feel there...some encouragement from the crowd is all it takes for the lurid thoughts to start spinning in their heads...and the heat to start rising
Just look at the way SY is checking BB out. BB looks cool and unperturbed, but then, he's had years of "experience". SY is still.....fresh =p
Omigawd. I don't even need to say anything; the picture speaks for itself. You won't want to see the next one....there's ear nibbling involved...and beyond that, well. Let's just say you might as well rent a gay porn movie =p
Do you want to know what life was like in the 1970s, way back before God invented woman (his best one so far), and colour TV?
Well, this rare footage of video and photos from the archives, which was discovered today, on Orange Chinese New Year spring cleaning day, gives a very insightful peek into the secret lives of men in that era - how they interacted, what they did for male bonding... like swap cooking recipes, hairstylist contact numbers, shopping tips and the art of a perfect manicure. A true eye opener.
The 70s was the era of free love and peace. The word 'gay' didn't have the negative connotations which is now associated with it. Notice how comfortable these two men seem to be in each other's company, even though one is clearly topless. Back then, it was perfectly normal and socially acceptable for men to look at each other's body without feeling self conscious or harbour homophobic tendencies. It was all about brotherhood and the concept of agape (the Greek concept of love among two people without any romantic inclination).
Of mice and men (hot dang! it looks like a midget is squatting next to a giant)
Squatting seemed to be all the rage back then, as also displayed by this unknown coolie from Xiamen, China). Note also, the white opium roll-up being smoked by the young man in white top and Asics trainers (They had Asics in the 70s?). Maybe the squatting toilet even evolved from this ergonomic and comfortable stance adopted by the coolies.
Now, the modern day Asian squat has seen various transformations, with different styles to modify it, but it is very much alive and squatting. Just look around at all the Ah Bengs at the MRT stations, the bus stops and outside pubs and shopping centres.
Video rating: PG (for scenes of topless men and a Manchester United jersey)
What's an editor to do, when a lovely designer such as JSL asks one to inflate a balloon so that she can take a picture of it for the Secondary Science textbook?
The spirit of Christmas is alive and well. Christmas always bring with it merriment and joy. The ugly side of Christmas is seldom ever shown or talked about. But it exists. It would be remiss of us to think that everyone is happy during Christmas. To quote Phoebe Buffay from Friends, "Even though it's Christmas, people die!". The following incident may not be a case of life and death, but it is serious enough to warrant a mention.
In a shocking incident which sickened the hearts of people across the Orange building, MV was the poor victim of a vicious outrage of modesty. Here we see firsthand photos of the incredulous act...
She smiles and looks happy. He has an innocent face...but watch his hand
OMG! He has it in a very compromising position...
And he swoops in for the kill!!!
This was an absolutely disgusting act and we hope and pray that it does not set a precedent for the future. The culprit was incredibly let off scot-free, but if he tries it again...we will be there to catch him.
NYE pot luck party at MN's place Good food. Good folks. Good fun.
6.03pm: The timing is perfect. NT and associate, GK and ML sauntered their way into MN's lovely apartment and made themselves at home with some alco punch concoction of Mirinda and NT's bottle of legendary Finlandia vodka.
MN checks out the latest issue of SS.
6.45pm: CK arrives. While in the kitchen, MN is briefing ML on something very important...
MN: "No papparazzin later ah!"
6.45pm - 7pm: We are playing pictionary to warm up and get in the spirit of communicating with visuals and doing away with words. Yeah, like that's going to be an uphill task for editors!
7.00pm: MV arrives with associate. And they join in.
7.20pm: ES and associate arrives and the pot luck party begins proper.
Oh what a glorious spread of food -
Chow mein, Indian style from MN Spicy fried rice and fish cakes from MV Potato salad from CK Dumplings, Mirinda and vodka from NT Chips and Doritos from GK Roast chicken from ML
And how could we forget ES' famous muffins?
The Host and Hostess with the mostest.
8pm:
After tucking into some really fantastic food, MN heralds with gusto and cheer," Let the games begin!" And so the long nite of Orange editors turn amateur actors starts off with aplomb and excitement and even trepidation... no wonder NT has to have 2 more swigs of his alco fruit punch before starting :D
NT: " Bottoms up, baby!"
We divided ourselves into two teams -
ES, CK, GK, MV, NT and ML on this corner of the ring, and on the other corner, we had MN, MN associate, MV associate, ES associate, NT associate, heck, its MN and associates!
The "Guess the movie" game is simple in idea, but there lies the deception - the delivery of the idea is where it gets tricky and even frustrating, particularly for those who aren't so acting inclined. One team comes up with a movie title and the other team has to send a member up to act it out for their team mates to guess it correctly. Some of the macaroni editors were true film buffs, judging by the movies that they thought of. We had all genres possible - Blockbusters, B-grade, Comedy, Horror, teen flicks, chick flicks, animation, even the odd obscure Indie and Foreign film thrown in for good measure.
But it's all about having fun and not trying to win an Oscar for best performance, so we all just let it rip! From inspiration to perspiration in 60 seconds! Oh what a show of hands, feet, eyeballs, tongues even, the whole wacky game brought out from everyone!
MV: " I'll give them a kiddy movie, nobody watches these but me, haha!"
MN displays her karate chop moves, "Haiyahh!"
MV: "Those hours of practising hand movement in my classical dance are really coming in handy now!"
CKin really had everyone in stitches over his favourite usage of animal gestures and expression to convey his message across. Here, he shows off his King Kong move!
ES matches her hubby in the drama high stakes, and pulls out all of the stops (and 6 fingers here) to help her team guess the movie correctly.
Even MN and associates were visibly entertained and enthralled.
MV's associate shows off his slick Bollywood dance moves, while MN is in a daze, getting flashbacks of the time when she enjoyed the 'Salaam Namaste' farewell dance by a select few Orange people. (See the Sp(mdg) post for details)
MV is very pleased with his performance, apparently. "Ah, I've taught him well!"
GK does his best impersonation of Julius Caesar, "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!"
His team mates love every moment of it! Even though they don't get it.
MN: " You have been served, can you guys dig it?"
CK steps up to the plate, but it's a tough one, and she's stumped for a moment... even NT has assumed his favourite squatting posture to show his dispair!
But she digs deep and dishes out some fancy Coyote Ugly moves to inspire her team.
NT's associate keeps her team spellbound with her Oscar worthy acting
MN associate plays it cool and shows off his Saturday Night Fever moves.
NN arrives late from the Orange, but joins ES team soon enough. Even sooner still, she is up on centre stage displaying her best Macarena magic and cuts a Venus like figure ala Botticelli.
CKin: " Hmm, if I strike this pose long enough, they''ll think that I'm actually acting."
NT is stumped for ideas, but still does his best Ah Meng impression, which amuses ES very much.
10.30pm:
Only 90 minutes to go before midnight...
NN: "Phew, whoever said acting was easy?"
NN takes a breather and chills out with MN's pet dog. Smart move. The other Orange people follow suit and slowly make their exit from MN's place by 11.30pm to other places to meet and greet other faces. " And...cut. That's a wrap!"
The intrepid photographer (and sometime cherry eater and/or lover) Markarazzi and his latest 
